The 8 Love Links

Relationships are complicated, yet they hold the potential for life's greatest joys.

A practical guide to understanding, strengthening and creating a thriving relationship.

Written by Clinical Psychologists and couples therapists Helen Robertson and Shahn Baker Sorekli, The 8 Love Links provides a structured framework for understanding the key areas that shape a successful, connected and fulfilling relationship.

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The Relationship Handbook You Were Never Given

The 8 Love Links is a practical guide to understanding and strengthening your relationship and is the basis of our couples therapy in Sydney.

Created by Clinical Psychologists and experienced couples therapists Helen Robertson and Shahn Baker Sorekli, the book provides a clear and comprehensive framework for understanding the key areas that shape the health and success of a relationship.

Whether your relationship is struggling, feeling stuck or simply has room to grow, The 8 Love Links will help you better understand yourself, your partner and the patterns that shape the way you relate to one another.

Through psychological insights, clinical experience, real-life examples and practical exercises, the book provides a roadmap for creating meaningful and lasting change.

Discover the 8 Love Links

Eight interconnected pillars that provide a roadmap for understanding and strengthening your relationship.

Relationships are complex. The 8 Love Links provides a way of understanding that complexity by breaking a relationship down into eight interconnected areas.

Each Love Link explores an important part of how we relate, connect and grow together. Strengthening one area can have a positive impact on others, helping you create a stronger and more fulfilling relationship overall.

The Me in We

Understanding yourself within your relationship

Being in a relationship doesn't mean losing yourself.

Me in We is about developing greater self-awareness and understanding the role you play in your relationship. It explores the patterns, behaviours and beliefs you bring into your relationship and helps you take greater ownership of your contribution to the dynamic between you and your partner.

Magic Moments

Creating more joy and positive connection

Thriving relationships aren't built only in the big moments, they're shaped by the small, everyday interactions we share. Magic Moments explores how to create more positivity, appreciation, fun and meaningful connection in your relationship. Discover how the way you respond to each other and the moments you create together can strengthen your bond over time.

Conflict Compass

Finding a better way through conflict

Conflict is an inevitable part of every relationship, but the way you navigate it can either bring you closer or push you further apart. Conflict Compass helps you understand your individual conflict patterns, recognise what happens when things escalate and learn practical tools for navigating disagreements more effectively. Discover how to move away from unhelpful cycles and find your way back to connection.

Baggage Claim

Understanding what you bring into your relationship

We all bring baggage into our relationships. Past experiences, unmet needs and old wounds can shape how we see ourselves, our partners and the world around us. Baggage Claim helps you understand the vulnerabilities and patterns you each bring into your relationship and how these can be triggered between you. Learn how greater awareness and understanding can create opportunities for healing rather than repeating old patterns.

Couples Base Camp

Creating a secure foundation for your relationship

Every thriving relationship needs a strong foundation. Couple's Base Camp explores the essential elements that help couples feel safe, secure and connected, including trust, boundaries, attachment and creating a strong sense of "us". You'll learn how to create a relationship that feels like a safe place for both of you to return to.

Feeling the Story

Creating deeper emotional understanding and connection

We all have a story behind what we feel, but often our partners only see our reactions on the surface. Feeling the Story helps you move beyond these surface emotions to better understand the vulnerable feelings and experiences underneath. Learn how to listen, validate and respond to one another in ways that create greater emotional safety, understanding and connection.

Deep Connections

Building a relationship that continues to grow

Connection is about more than simply spending time together. Deep Connections explores the different ways couples create closeness, companionship and a meaningful shared life. Discover how to nurture your relationship through changing seasons, maintain curiosity about one another and create opportunities to continue growing both individually and together.

Sex & Desire

Creating a fulfilling and connected sexual relationship

Sexual connection can be one of the most rewarding parts of a relationship, but it can also be one of the most complex. Sex and Desire explores the many factors that influence intimacy and desire, challenging unhelpful myths and helping you better understand your own and your partner's sexual needs. Discover new ways to create a sexual relationship that feels connected, satisfying and sustainable.

More Than Relationship Advice

Insights are only useful if they help you create change.

Each chapter of The 8 Love Links goes beyond theory to give you practical ways to apply what you're learning to your own relationship. Through exercises, reflection questions, clinical examples and evidence-based strategies, you'll be encouraged to explore your patterns and put new skills into practice.

In The 8 Love Links, you'll learn how to:

Better understand yourself and the role you play in your relationship
Recognise the patterns that keep you and your partner stuck
Build greater trust, safety and emotional connection
Communicate in ways that help you both feel heard and understood
Navigate conflict without losing connection
Understand the vulnerabilities you each bring into your relationship
Create more positive moments and deeper connection
Develop a more fulfilling and sustainable sexual relationship

What Readers are Saying

Real insights from readers who have explored The 8 Love Links

Whether they're looking to strengthen an already good relationship, better understand themselves or work through longstanding patterns, readers have found The 8 Love Links to be a practical and insightful guide to relationships.

Even as a clinical psychologist, I had many ‘ah ha’ moments reading this book. Couples and psychologists alike will find this guide for relationships both deeply fascinating and achievably helpful. Robertson and Sorekli’s book combines the intrigue and mild voyeurism of Esther Perel’s work, with the pragmatism and guidance of the Gottmans. Providing real-life examples of couples they’ve worked with, and the psychological theory behind each love link, they guide you through the 8 stages of improving your romantic relationship. In a world where the art of connection is dwindling, and dating is under unprecedented strain, I’ll certainly be recommending this book to anyone who wants to improve their EQ, break unhelpful patterns in their relationships and ultimately have a more fulfilling partnership.

Brodie Earl

Clinical Psychologist

I wish I had read this book 10 years ago. I have learnt so much about myself, my past relationships and my current one. Loved this book! Every person in a relationship, and even those looking to be in a relationship, should read this!

Kate

I initially thought The 8 Love Links was for couples who were on the rocks. However after reading this book I quickly realised that it helps improve even good relationships. It changed my perspective on what it is to work together with your partner, setup your “campsite” and develop a truly deep and meaningful connection. I now understand my wife better and I’m better equipped to help her understand me better as well. This book is amazing for all couples and even singles to better prepare for a truly beautiful and fulfilling relationship with their partner.

James

A standout feature of this book is its focus on self-awareness as the foundation for a healthy relationship referred to as the “Me in We” concept. It brilliantly demonstrates how understanding oneself is key to better understanding and loving your partner. This holistic approach ensures that the changes you make are lasting and deeply impactful.

Elouise

Ready to Explore The 8 Love Links?

Your relationship is one of the most important parts of your life. It's worth investing in.

Whether you're looking to strengthen an already good relationship, work through challenges, deepen your connection or better understand yourself and your partner, The 8 Love Links provides a practical and comprehensive roadmap for the journey. Discover the eight fundamental pillars of thriving relationships and explore the insights, tools and exercises designed to help you create meaningful and lasting change.